My name is Steve, born and raised in Kidlington, Oxford from May 1990 and I want to share my story with you as it could hopefully inspire others to share your own stories as well.

For at least the first part of 11 years of my life I lived a pretty normal life. I was living in a loving home, had an amazing family network and even loving friends.

During primary school and even some of secondary school, I was subjected to bullying from other children and this did leave scars in me from it, even to this day.

On 12th February 2002, 3 month's before my 12th birthday I sadly lost my mum to the dreaded disease which is Cancer and this then changed my life forever.

I remember being at my neighbours house playing with one of my friends and that evening I was going to the hospital to see Mum who was staying for treatment. But when my Dad came to pick me up, he told me the devastating news that my Mum had passed away and I just couldn't believe it. 

Being 11 years old, I didn't know how to react to loss either because the only family member that had passed away before this was my Gran and I was 6 years old.

Other than a meeting with the school a couple days later, the following Monday after half term I was back at school carrying on as 'normal' while trying to cope with the loss of my Mum but also being taken out of school for the funeral and burial.

Over the course of 5 years after this as a family we tragically lost 3 more family members who were really close to me. My Uncle on my Dads side in 2004, My Nan (My Mum’s Mum)2005, then my Gramp in 2007.

Thankfully after this, I haven’t lost anyone directly close to me as of yet and I feel so grateful of this.

Looking back now on all this, I never had any support for all that grief and I basically had to get on with life.

This was really damaging to not only me but the people around me, though I do understand that talking about struggles then wasn't really spoken about back then.

In 2006 I started working at Alden's Butcher’s in Botley as a general assistant on Saturday's part time to gain some working experience but after a while I found that the job wasn't for me. At that time I couldn't do anything full time because I was still at school but that was going to end in June 2007 so I knew deep down that I had to do some serious job hunting.

After applying for several jobs, I managed to secure a job with the Midcounties Cooperative in April 2007 in Kidlington as a Customer Service Assistant and I then left Alden's in June 2007 where I then became full time for The Coop. As time went on, I worked myself up to Supervisor, then passing my Duty Managers course in 2012 and then moved over to Oxford Road as a full time Duty Manager.

Since then, I have moved to a further 3 more stores where I am now working in Botley Food Market Coop as a Team Leader.

During my life I have always lacked confidence but working with the general public in Coop, my confidence grew and grew over the years but deep down I was really struggling Mentally.

At the time I didn't know what it was and what the feelings meant but in 2012 I think it was, I went to go and see one of my best friends who was in University at the time and I opened up about how I was struggling with even the simplest things.

Even though he didn't have the answers, I felt a massive relief and weight off my shoulders from just one simple conversation.

From then, I started to open more with my friends and maybe share the odd thing on Facebook and the more I spoke about it, the better I felt.

In 2018, I joined a Facebook support group which is operated by Paul McGregor and when I was struggling, that group was my release.

Towards the end of 2018, Paul invited everyone in the group to attend a 'Can Anyone Hear Me' conference and after some thinking, I decided to go.

Before I attended this event, other than speaking online, I didn't know anyone but it was the best thing I ever did. 

On that day, I met some amazing and inspirational people including the family of The Lucy Rayner Foundation,

Since then, I have built an amazing friendship with them and now they are like family to me but the best thing is, I now work with them too as a fundraiser and using their services to help those who really need it.

It has been a rough journey to get to this point and there have been bad days but though hard work and determination, I am now able to manage those feelings and be aware that everything will be ok.

Something else that I have had to battle with over the years of my life is my sexuality and hiding who I am. 

For years I have wanted to be open about who I am but with fear of rejection and being judged, I put it off...Until Covid hit us in 2020.

When covid hit our towns and cities, everyone's lives were up in the air. 

We were social distancing, emptying the shelves of pasta and toilet rolls, and only being allowed in groups of 6 at times.

So when lockdown eased slightly back in December 2020 after moving to the Botley store, I took this as a fresh start. 

So while I was on my monthly walks, I decided to come out to my Dad as Gay.

This was one of the hardest conversations I ever had but it was the best 2 minutes of my life.

He said as long as you are happy, then I am happy and that was it (after a hug)

In January 2021, I then made it public about my sexuality and I am so lucky that I haven't had one negative comment made towards me.

In 2023, I decided to refresh all my social media platforms with a brand new website domain to fit in with the project that I am operating and I couldn't be happier with how it is looking.

When it first launched, there was only basic information and it looked plain and boring but after working hours on it, it has now become the hub of everything that I do.

From my point of view I don't notice much change but from an outsider point of view, the changes will be massive.

I work along side so many amazing people and I cannot thank them enough for allowing me to showcase their own work too.

This is all about community and I hope this website shows that.

This is just the start and I have so many projects planned for the future.

Thank you for taking the time to hear about my journey so far.

Sending you love,

Steve

xx

If you have been affected by loss or anything I have mentioned above and want some support, please reach out.

You are not alone, trust me.